True Friends
by BlueSunflower
Summary: It was a hard thing, giving up hope; but Charlie knew it had to be done. It was just such a shame it had to happen on such a glorious day.


It was a hard thing, giving up hope; but Charlie knew it had to be done. It was just such a shame it had to happen on such a glorious day.

They'd spent the day together, as usual. All three of them. It still hurt to think about how much he loved them. How much he loved her. Charlie had never quite pinpointed the moment he had fallen in love, but he had finally recognized the true why--even if it had taken him nearly a year to do it.

At first he'd thought it was because she let him stick around. To help out and be useful. In his whole life, no one had ever really wanted him and Charlie had long ago stopped questioning what crime he had committed that warranted such treatment. After all this time on the island, he'd finally come to accept that all the people he had considered his friends in his former life hadn't really been friends at all. True friends accepted you as you are. Charlie's friends had accepted what they could get out of him.

Even Liam hadn't been immune to using him. That, Charlie had to admit, hurt the worst. His brother had been the only stability in his life, the only one who had treated him like a person. To Liam, Charlie had not been a burden or an opportunity. His brother had genuinely seemed to like him; love him, even. Enjoyed having him around and looking out for him, the way an older brother should. Charlie thought it was no wonder he'd been so loyal and so devoted. There was nothing selfish in the way Liam had treated his little brother. At least that was what Charlie had thought.

The most painful moment in Charlie's life hadn't been when his parents died. It hadn't been when he overheard the social workers writing them off as not adoptable, or when Liam left him alone in the monastery. It hadn't even been watching Liam get all the accolades while Charlie sat ignored in the background, or when Liam finally told him what he should have known all along: that he was a nobody. And it certainly hadn't been when Liam had left him and DriveShaft for Karen. Charlie had always held out hope he would be back.

The moment occurred when Charlie realized Liam wouldn't be back, and what he had done--what he had been doing all along--behind Charlie's back. There had been nothing glorious about that day. That betrayal had hit hard. Hope died quickly then, and the crash to earth had been instantaneous and permanent. He hadn't even been allowed a brief moment of denial to make it less painful.

Losing Claire, however, was about to eclipse it.

Sadly, Charlie smiled to himself. Claire would never turn away from him. She listened to him when no one else ever did. Even Hurley and Jack dismissed him whenever he tried to contribute. If it weren't already in their minds, nothing Charlie said would make a bit of difference.

Claire, on the other hand, let him make a difference. Even if she didn't agree with him, she at least took his words to heart. He could say anything to her and she would consider it; occasionally she would even agree with him. In a lifetime of barely being tolerated, Claire treated him as an equal. He was not a nobody.

And that was why he loved her.

Unfortunately, Claire wasn't in love with him and Charlie could no longer hold out the hope that someday that would change. Watching her with her son today had only reinforced that. After nearly a year, he was still Charlie. Not Daddy. Not Love. Not even Honey. Just plain Charlie, her friend. She thought he was sweet and adorable, and it was killing him.

He knew she had been hurt before, and he was certainly no catch. That hadn't stopped him, however, from thinking that maybe with time she'd allow their friendship to perhaps grow into something more. He would do anything for her.

She had forced him to work on their friendship. No lies and no half-truths anymore. Claire insisted that if he wanted her to trust him completely, he had to earn that trust. It had been anything but easy. He'd spent the year working on his relationship with God; he'd even worked on his relationship with himself. As hard as it had been, Charlie had worked on redemption for her. To his immense surprise, Claire hadn't rejected him when he confessed to his past--even to his most egregious sins. She listened and then accepted, although not always immediately. It was who he was. To his immense joy, she had returned his faith by confiding her secrets to him. There was always work to be done, but Charlie enjoyed learning to trust again.

As he watched across the caves as Claire settled her son down to sleep, Charlie felt content. Nevertheless, he knew the pain had to stop and that he had to move past it. No longer could he wish Claire a good night, hoping she'd ask him to stay. He had to stop wondering what it would be like to hold her hand as they walked side by side, or what her lips would feel like on his. To stop imagining what it would be like to be her lover, or the family they could create together.

Just as Claire accepted him, it was now time he learned to accept her. Just as she is.


End file.
